This is one hell of a long post. Bear with me.

This is a compilation of things that had happened to me prior to my return to kuching. It lists all the things that i wanted to blog about but didn't get the chance or more like lazy to . Well, what can be expected from intec's computer which provides inadequate surfing security.

Enough complaining as i am well off from intec. Woohoo.

To start things off:

Few weeks ago, I bunked with my dad at KL's Mandarin Hotel. It was during tests so I rather did not have the mood to really go KL but regardless who can deny me of food and a nice place to crash during test. Who else would not take the advantage right? Chemistry exams was nipping on my ass at that time but i didnt give squat... shoved my face full of nice food and I was fat and happy back to the slaughterhouse. I narrowly escaped death when it finally dawned on me that IT WAS THE SEMESTER's FINAL !!!! WARGH!

Here's a few pics i snapped using my lousy Nokia handphone 's camera. Ahhh, finally I am getting my hands on my brothers camera. Wakakakaak i don't mind the second hand porfole of the camera but anything is better than my original BenQ 2 megapixel camera. I am so happy I can kill someone.

This is a pic I took when I celebrated Happy Deepavali with my roommates in SACC mall in Shah Alam. The retarded looking guy on the far left is me, the one looking like a gangster (white T-shirt) and wanted for multiple sexual offences is Peter, the suai ge sitting at the corner (blue T) is Lii Chyuan the official si fu because his knowledge of the underground world *wink* *nod nod* is vast.... sorry ladies. He is occupied at the moment. No shock at all, a guy his calibre can find one in a matter of seconds. The one looking almost as retarded as me (drinking pepsi) is Thiru. Thiru= Tiru. We made a mental note not to sit next to him in tests. The one taking the photo is Bala.

EVENT!!!! THE WORTH OF ME!!!!

Anyways, one morning I woke up as usual and got ready for my exam day when suddenly I saw Peter pulling out his handphone and snapping pictures. Here's a following conversation

Hilary: (sleepily) Oii Peter chai (Peter Kid) what doing you?
Peter: (deep voice) Checking out my handphone's camera. *points camera*
Hilary: (shock) Dun take photo of me!
Peter: (serious (He is always serious)) Not taking photo of you
Hilary: Then what photo are you taking?
Peter: *stares*
Hilary: Huh? *Turns and look*
Hilary: ........................

****The following maybe be subject to overexaggeration, paranoia and pure randomness. It may actually not contain any truth, proof or any importance in your life whatsoever. If you even bother to squint your eyes to read these fine print, may I suggest you head down to your kitchen, grab a fork and start gauching your eyes out as least you guys have something better to do than read all these crap. Thanks for reading. At least there will be something on the headlines on the newspaper. "Teen poke eye out due to blog"

Rubbish? HE IS TAKING PHOTO OF RUBBISH>>>>>????!!!!!! I was so shocked. Why would people even take photo of rubbish? (By the way, check out the overflowing rubbish bin, I can see the Big Mac I ate kekeke) Anyways, Peter rather take photos of rubbish than me? What the????? Is Peter trying to send a message here?

*imitates Peter's voice*: Hilary- your face is not as nice as this pile of rubbish. He... he... hee

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *drowns in self pity*

I better kill myself.............
If only it is that easy. Sigh. Oh well, I took a photo of our apartment though .

It is as dirty and bad as it looks. Actually I am honouring the room by actually posting a pic of it on my blog. There you go. Oh well, moving on


OMG!!! A MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION!!!

After during the days after maths or statistics test, my friends and I gathered a round at our living room/ study room and started studying for our upcoming exam. Well, Bala was studying, I was daydreaming and Lii Chyuan was reading the news paper.

Suddenly out of nowhere Lii Chyuan became transfixed with a passage. Here's our following conversation, by the way, Peter is not in at that time. He's out dating.

Lii Chyuan: *serious* Malaysian varsities is not in top 100 list.
Hilary: *dreams* I wish I was in kuching
Bala: No shock, education standard has dropped these years.
Hilary: *snap* (OMG, is this the first meaningful conversation?)

Yep, I was in a state of shock as I spent my whole life talking crap. This is probably the closest to my reaction at that time. It is like NANI!!!!!!!!! Then, it dawns on you. OMG....... meaningful conversation! NOOOO!!!!!!

Lii Chyuan: Seeing this makes me feel very disappointed. Our vasities last time could get top 20 now we are not even in the list.
Hilary: Makes sense, our education syllabus is pretty forgiving on us. It is not as hard compared to other countries, I think.
Lii Chyuan: It is good but still average.
Bala: They seriously need to upgrade the standards....

*The following is lost due to error in memory management of the regions of the frontal lobe of the brain. If you actually thought that I would actually remember all the details of this conversation 4 weeks after it happened, you must be crazy and I have just the medicine for that. Walk to the nearest roadside, stand in the middle of it and do the chicken dance. If you actually do it and survive, you are not crazy anymore. You have achieved the path of insanity. Congratulations. Anyways, most parts of this conversation are really heated debate and boring to outsiders just that it seemed fun at that instant. And also I was freaking bored at that time. *

( An eternity 1 hour later)
Hilary: Wah, Lii Chyuan, you are so political.
Lii Chyuan: *denies* Where got?
Bala: Our future Minister of Education
Hilary: Minister of Sexual Education I will vote for you wahahaha.
Lii Chyuan: Cyeh
Hilary:No wonder chicks dig you.
Lii Chyuan: .......
(End of conversation) The next thing that happened is that I went to disturb Peter 's stuff. Lii Chyuan began cutting out the article and pasting it on the board.

Lii Chyuan with the newspaper cutting.There he is, Our future minister. Please vote.

Then, I was off to disturb Peter, you know since he didn't come back yet at that time. We are worried something bad might happen to him so we prepared our selves mentally.So I added a toilet paper roll and make it looked like an altar praying to the dead. XD Too bad it was premature. He came back alive......

Damn.

SEMESTER FINALS EXAM! Studying.

No!!!!!!!!!!! I am stuck in this HELL HOLE!!!!

Nothing much to be said actually. Just that exam rambling wont be complete with out pictures so i thought i dedicate this section to post about my exam period.

Sorry for the sideways view, but I was lazy to rotate it so bear with me ya. XD. These two are studying chemistry for the final exam, chem 101. What am I doing right, snapping pics rather than studying.

Peter studies 24/7 so the test was already in his hands. Here he is asking questions which are difficult to solve by my standards. Thats why he always asks others than me. I am the person with the lowest IQ there.

Here are my emotions during the exams.

1 month before the testHilary: Yay, still got one more month... weeeeee~~~~

3 weeks before examHilary: Still got time.... ohohohohoho

2 weeks before examHilary: When is the test again? I don't have the schedule. Got cover this topic meh?

1 week before examHilary: Peter..... can borrow your notes to photostate? *puppy dog eyes*
Peter: No
Hilary: *shock* SO blunt!Hilary: Noooooooo!!!!!!

3 days before exams:Hilary: Fine, I guess I will study now.

2 days before examPeter: You know that Maths exam is going to be hard?
Hilary: WHAT!!!!!!
Peter: Our maths teacher is setting the test
Hilary: Let me see your examples
Peter: Nah
Hilary: ..........Hilary: WhAT! THE ! FUCK! IS! THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peter: Hard aaaa
Hilary: ........... *dies*

1 days before exam:
Bala: Lets do past years
Hilary & Peter & Thiru : OK
Bala: Use laptop
Hilary: STUPID DESKTOP!!!! WARGH!!!! PENTOK!!!!!
The day of examHilary: This is the pits
Hilary: *grin* I guess I will have to do whatevers necessary to pass wahahahah *evil laughter*

1 hour before test
Hilary:Dammit, I cant cheat....

3 minutes before test:

Hilary: *praying for divine intervention.

During test:

Hilary: WARGH!!!!!!! THE PART I DIN STUDY COME OUT!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!

Aftermath:
Hilary:*sob* failure..............

Well, after exams over. Lii Chyuan had to go to Melaka. So at the cafeteria, I took a photo of him eating.
The fried chicken is the best dish they have there. Which is kinda pitiful.

MOVIE DAY! BALLS OF FURY.

Me and Bala and Thoru went to catch a movie. In the end at midvalley, they went to watch some Tamil movie while ME, ALLLONNNEEE went to watch balls of fury. Mah, it aint fun to watch a movie by yourself.My pissed off look. More pissed than bored.

I was so bored that I even read my novel in the cinema.

About the movie, the movie itself was pretty poorly scripted with randomness. Randomness is not bad but when they try to make it look sensible, it just aint funny no more. Cliche's in this movies are really abundant. For instance,

1. Hot chick falls for ugly dude out of nowhere in the middle of the story. Makes no fucking sense.

2. The Dragon is a little girl. Expected

3. Underground pingpong tournament. Wow, innovative.

4. They make a mockery of pingpong.

5. The bad guys are defeated so easily

6. The villian is gay.

7. Happy ending. I would like if the ending makes no sense like Blades of Glory

All in all this movie was a lame ripoff of Blades of Glory. Don't watch if you have already watched Blades of Glory.

Overrated.

Anyway I saw a really nice fashion design.
Presenting, todays style,

EVENING GOWN exposing ASS
Whew, that must be some evening gown. I would like to see someone wear that to party.

Well, being a guy and all I cant help imagining how would a pretty girl look in that....
What?
I memang hiaw one what.
Then
SUDDENLY
MY MIND
WONDERED
IF MOST RICH GIRLS ARE OLD HAGS WITH THICK MAKEUP
EXPOSING THEIR WRINKLED ASS IN FRONT OF ME
Then,
my mind snapped
my stomach churned like an industrial washing machine
the sickness in my soul that i had never felt before

THE ULTIMATE WEAPON OF DESTRUCTION
An old hag wearing this would bring any army on its knees the soldiers bleeding from every hole they have on their body. Forget NUCLEAR WEAPONS.

DAMN YOU MIND!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!! I would never look at skimpy dresses the same way again.
If more guys experience this, I think sexual-related cases would be less.


BUTCHERY OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!

Coining words is fine by me. But when English is coined from basement to besmen? That is butchery. Besides underground carpark in BM should remain as tempat meletak kereta bawah tanah. Please, besmen? An insult to the best man in weddings.

This sign is particularly found at SACC mall Shah Alam.

The day prior to going to Christopher's apartment

Well, before that I would like to say that stuff about animal abuse is overrated. Especially abuse of domestic animals such as cats.
Homeless cats enjoy a better lifestyle than their ancestors. Here's a few examples.

1.They enjoy nice place to take afternoon naps.

Presenting executive cat:

Here's a cat sleeping on the comforts of an office chair. It sure beats sleeping on the floor. I named this cat, boss neko-chan Killer Mccat.

This is its sidekick, sleeping on a less comfortable but still more comfortable than the floor, plastic chair. I shall name him, Assassin Mccat, side kick nekochan.

2. They eat and grow fat like Garfield.

Here's a pic of Assassin Mccat. See how fat he is? Probably from all the COOKED meat it ate. Better than raw meat right. SEE? These cats are living a luxurious life.

However with all that said and done animal cruelty still exists.
This cat was run over by a bike or a car. It has lost both of its rear legs and cannot run. It had to drag itself along the pavement. (People I met so far hate cats so they aren't too particularly bothered about it.) However, this is cruel. Probably it is the cats fault for sleepily near a tyre. Sad. However I could only watch helplessly as it struggles to move around. I was late to meet up with Chris who was rushing me to go to his place.



FEW DAYS WITH CHRIS!

After tests i spent about 4 to 5 days at chris' apartment. We went to Emgamall together and ate sushi king. Got my brain numbed out by the wasabi. Okane in my wallet ran out quickly than an army ration. XD The most shocking thing is I met my old tuition friend timothy at the Sushi King working there part time. He says he is in sunny college? more like sunway. Anyone knows sunny college please pm me.

We ate pizza hut twice there. Personal set dinner. One time we were so hungry that we ate two personal sets. The guys in the pizza parlour was dumbfucked.

Pizza waiter: What would you like to have sir?
Chris: I would like to have 2 sensasi delight
Pizza guy: *blink blink*
Hilary: Me 2.
Pizza: *Glares* Okay...

We came to regret that decision as our stomach was close to exploding. I felt like vomiting that time oso.4 personal sets

It is still a miracle that we actually finished that.

When we went to midvalley, there was a exhibition going on. On foreign food and beverages. There is imported wine, bread, cakes and many more. I thought of buying something but my silent screams of my wallet prevented me from doing so.

Wally(wallet): No Hilary! Do not submit to the devil
Hilary:*ignore* Everything looks foreign and nice.
Wally: Please I am begging you..... no!!!!!!!! *poke*
Hilary:*senses a slight pain in my thigh* Ow....? Hmmm... Maybe not.

A couple of middle aged men riding a jeep/buggy/ antique vehicle. (me and Chris can agree how to classify the vehicle. Well, they can get to enjoy the open air. Carbon monoxide, sulphur dioxide, tar and smoke. Have fun guys. See you in my office 6 years from now.The entrance to Sunway pyramid. It is my first time there so I didn't realize that this was actually the side entrance. Went here to catch a movie. Any movie.The interior. Well, like a kampung boy I gazed around like a retard looking amazed. The skating ring. Someday I will try to skate. Well, Bala, Peter and Thiru planned to come here some time next semester. So I will get my chance of walking around like a duck.

There wasnt any nice movie to watch so me and Chris catched a random horror flick called Shrooms which detailed a bunch of crackheads heading in a jungle to get high on mushrooms. I wont tell much of the story here but the whole thing wasnt scary but the music is the thing which made is scary. I am not a fan of Horror movies myself and this is the first horror flick i watched in 5 years? I think more than than that. Anyway, the twist at the end of the story was unexpected for me so I think it made a decent film to pass time. (Note: BOTH CHRIS AND I WAS SCARED OK?)
I am not going to watch anymore horror flicks for a long time

Chris also brought me to Ipoh Coffee house which serves the best coffee in Subang Jaya. I think. The coffee there is good, almost up toi par with the coffee back in Kuching's Kenyalang kopitiam. It is expensive though but worth the money. The setting is nice for a good chat with your buddies. A cool place to just sit back, talk and hang out

Chris, posing at Ipoh Coffee House.We also played pool in Asia cafe. Well, both Chris and Faye are pros so it is no wonder that I lost to them on all occasions.

I AM LEAVING ON A JET PLANE......

I caught sight of this large lolipop for sale at the LCCT airport. Then my sick mind start playing back a dialogue in Beer Fest. "How many licks to get to the centre of the lolipop." If you can decipher this, congratulations, you are officially a pervert.Beerfest, a movie to watch when you are free.

When i was on the plane, eyes wandering off and such, I caught hold of something i overlooked. When the plane was about to lane, the flaps actually cause a mini swirly, tornado like line of vapor. Reminds me of the small things in life which people tend to overlook.

For instance,
1. The tiny little things floating in the air after a rain or when you look closely enough.
2. How nice your mum's cooking.
3. The smell of freshly cut grass.

The small things in life. XD.


WEDDING OF RELATIVE.

Wow, a wedding. Sounds fun!!!

Not really.

It is an occasion where you, a teenager, surrounded by loud brats and elders, are thrusted into a situation where you run to avoid any confrontation with the elder relatives.

They will ambush you like a pack of guerilla fighters and bombard you with small arms fire until the leader somes in with an RPG and blows you to smitherins.

Aunty 1: Wah, you grow thinner (*A tactical pistol*)
(-5)Hilary (HP95/100) : Reli ka? No la. (CRAP! Need backup)
Aunty 2: Hows your studies? ( *MP5 Submachinegun*)
(-20)Hilary(HP 75/100): Ok la. (Urgh... Taking fire need assistance)
Uncle: When you come back? (AK47)
(-35) Hilary (HP 40/100): A week ago. (*struggles for survial*......)
Elder: One day you get married you must invite us. Hehehehe..... (RPG)

(-100) Hilary *OVERKILL* (HP -60/100): *smiles awkwardly* (*dies*)

I am sure you guys has experienced this before.

But I actually got something nice out of this. I got angpaus for bringing delicacies for the bride and the groom and although I received an awkward comment from the bridegroom *zu fu ni kuai thien chie huen* (Hope you get married quickly)

I was dumbfucked but I smiled. Hey, he is probably the happiest man alive then.

The bride and the groom and the stuoid cameraman who kept blocking my shots! The Hinghua trading of desert with boiled eggs. I dunno what the dish is called but the couples are supposed to feed each other with that. Does any weddings to this? Please pm me is you do.

When the camera guy is gone, the elder blocked my shot.This is a Hinghua delicacy, which is called the pah mee.
At that night, the wedding dinner took place. Well, it was held at the banquet so the setting was nice. However, when the waiter started serving food, they played this really loud techno music which is probably not suited for a wedding dinner.

Well, the food was nice. But they served all meat and only one vegetable. It was a 8 course meal and I ate too much and I ended up with indigestion.

Frangrant dumpling rice.Sweet mango soup.

Well actually the whole wedding was good but there is a couple of things that I dont really get and probably wont do on my wedding if I ever have one which is probably not in my life.

1. Put a karaoke device.
It is ok to sing when your voice is good but please, when the voice is bad please keep it to yourself and sing in the bathroom or when you are taking a crap.

2. Put really unapporiate songs.
Well, some of the guests actually sang something like ai pia za eh eia (must fight to win) and some old dance tunes.

3. Love songs to the minimum
The groom sang ai ni iii yuan nien (love you a thousand years) terribly. And that was after a series of waves of loves songs which made my digestion seemed to go reverse in a medical term called reverse peristalsis.

4. Not a grand dinner
8 course meals are too much. Spend so much of money to feed guest who wont probably remember your name or this wedding later in their lives. It is not like they are going to say "you know aaaa, that who-who-who aaaa have a 8 course dinner wooo". Hrm.... I think I just accidentally stabbed myself with that comment.

5. Yam seng!
I feel that one yam seng is enough. It is kinda annoying to see suddenly one table is shouting yam seng then followed by another one which will be louder than the previous one. THIS IS A WEDDING! NOT A SHOUTING CONTEST!

Oh well, I wish them a happy marriage and may their love last eternally cuz lawsuits are expensive

Well, there you have it. My previous exploits during my inactive period of blogging. Enjoy reading.