Emotional Post read at your own discretion

There's days when I felt like shit from start but there are also days when i felt like shit at midday..... and the worst of all today is the day I felt like shit before going to bed.

I havent finished studying..... the stuff I wanted to study

Not that I cared anyway because I had enough of caring. The more I cared the more things turned out the other way than the way I had wished it to be.

It had been known to me....

My insecurities as a human being.... as a living person........

I had never faced a situation like this before how'd you'd expect me to act????

The world seem so out of place. Everything is so rotten. Everything is so full of deceit and trickery that I had stopped looking out for them and just step into their trap for it was pointless to resist anyway.

tell me why God put me on Earth?

Is it to fade away my existence into the background watching how everyone make it while I remain behind? Or just to play my part on this stage called Earth then be tossed out like trash like it never had a significant value from the start.

god I am so confused.

My heart had never been so easily broken before now is breaking apart like it was its nature to do so.

My feelings that I had controlled for the years flowed out of me like there wasn't a barrier to begin with.

When this change happen? because I have no record of it in my mind.

Looking at people around me. Content with what they have makes me sick to the core........
Content with something so........ useless..... pointless.
What the hell are they thinking anyway?!

Fine, I am done caring. The more I care the more it backfires on me.
Goodness repaid with kindness?

Yea right! Hah! The only payment you get for being a good guy is being stepped on. And overlooked.

Everyone around me is so fake.
So fake that it sickens me.

I can't even find refuge in God anymore because God seemed so distant......
"Open my heart and I shall receive"
But after that day, I had closed my heart to the world and placed a fake it its place.

A heart full of sadness and regret, masked by happiness and cheerfulness. with each passing day, my real heart rots away....... intwined in the vines of hopelessness, insecurities and futility that no mater how I try..... no matter how hard I struggle........... it will still end up in the same results.


Whatever....... I don't care anymore.
I am too tired to care anymore.
And things around me is not worth my energy and time to care anymore.

My own way, my own path. Nobody in the way..... just me and the trail ahead.

if I have to pay everything I own to return my innocence and for this fog of ignorance to cloud my eyes again......

Hmph. Is that even a need for thought?

I'd pay it gladly.

Happy Birthday Chris! 19 is a good age... well i think

Dude, Happy 19th Birthday dude.

Too bad I cant celebrate it with you but hopefully we will have a chance next year or the year after.
And sorry man, no presents also this year.

But, I just want to say Thanks dude for being there for me through thick and thin and for the many memories that you had given me...... and equivalent pain and humiliation as well (mainly Call of Duty 4). Hah, truth be said I was kinda missing you already when everytime I went back to Kuching or everytime I drove out to Hui Sing Garden.

Well, Kuching just lost some of its colour without you here to paint colours into them.
Yea, I know that sounded really gay and stuff but heck, I will say it anyway.

Gaming too just ain't that fun anymore without you around.
Now with Caleb going to australia, its just Broseph, Piaw and me.
COD4 with 3 people? Aint really fun.

Just now around 8pm I was at another friends birthday party well..... somewhat of a friend la... more like a acquaintance. Well, kinda wished that it was your party that I was in and I'd be the one hosting it. Well, I guess your buddies in Kent would probably do a better job than me anyway since I cant play poker, DotA nor drink beer. I only game and can be quite boring to hang out with.

But you still did hang out with me anyway. And that I am really grateful, bro.

I have yet to meet someone who is like you and I probably wont. People ain't that fun to hang around here.......... all they do is study (or I am just a bore to be around with with my crappy lame jokes..... well I know just who is the better lame joke teller here). And well can be stressful and I am still coping though I seem to be breaking by the seams already.

Hey, by the way, how's university life's been treating ya? Once you get a gal man you'd better tell me or heads will roll.

Damn man, I cant even write a birthday wish in peace..... got disconnected twice while writing this. I am getting sick and tired of this dump......

Anyway, dude for all the things that you had done for me unseen and seen I thank you dude. If I had said anything wrong in the past I hope you'd let bygones be bygones. Wish you have a wonderful year ahead of you and be successful at everything you do.

All the best Dude. Happy Birthday!
Your friend and always will be,
Hilary

Cooking stuff hillabilly style. XD

Well, today I had my Chemical 3a practical exam.

Wish I hope I didnt screw up. AHahahaahahaha

Prolly I will anyway.

Anyway,

After the test I came back to my campus (Cemara) my roommate, I decided to help Chewie to cook something called Chicken Soup.

Chicken Soup for the soul indeed.

Anyway...............
The previous night we argued about whether to cook chicken soup or chicken broth.

I was supporting chicken broth cause we had the recipe.

He was inclining to chicken soup.

In the end, since he is the one who wanted to cook he went with Chicken Soup. So here we are at Giant buying stuff to cook.....

i) Stir fry button mushrooms, small baby corn and choi sam
ii) Chicken soup

I only can tell the ingredients exactly for the stir fry mushroom crap.

i) One pack of baby corn
ii) One bundle of choi sam
iii) one can of button mushroom
iii) Half of a red onion
iv) a pinch of salt
v) some oil
vi) a bit of luck
vii) a bit of love
viii) a bit of sweat
ix) and a sense of humour and adventure

Now you are ready.

First.....
Mutilate the baby corn by snapping them in half and and removing those anal husk-like thing that is stuck on the corn surface

Then, cut them into two like a samurai cleaving his opponent into two bite-size pieces.

Then, prepare the button mushrooms. For this you must first acquire the perk of can opening skillz.... which I forgot to equip on the start up menu !!!!!! Argh, forgot to set the perk......
(Reference to COD4)

Then, wash the mushrooms and make quick work of the mushrooms by cutting them into fours. Imagining mutilating your enemies while doing this.

Then set aside the now mutilated mushrooms and turn your attention to the red onion as the next victim of your cooking death run,

Grab it like how you will grab a persons neck before snapping it after washing it under running tap water ..... and cut mercilessly into two halves. Then laugh maniacally as you cut up the red onions into pieces.

Then, following closely is the choi sam. As usual make quick work of the choi sam by breaking them into bite size pieces as if you are breaking someone's arms or legs.

(I find cooking more fun if I think this way so bite me if you disagree with my methods)

Then wash the vegetables that you had killed so far before cooking.

Warm the oil the pan..... I am using the hot plate so I didnt get the actual results that I want...

Anyway, when oil is hot, put the red onions first and watch them fry........................ hehehehehe

The followed quicky by the button mushrooms and baby corn after you can smell the red onions cooking off in the pan...

Choi sam goes in last....

Let them cook.

While you play cs or something

Come back, stir a bit..... add salt or soy sauce, your taste. Up to you.

Then finally, serve hot.

well visit http://crapbychewie.blogspot.com/2009/02/anyone-can-cook.html for full recipe.

The nerve of some people.

Some people are such arse-holes.

Damn,
I don't know if they are genuinely assholes or just plain stupid lacking common sense that makes us humans.

This is my encounter with such assholes:

I was in the library nicely surfing the mid-****ingly slow internet connection

My original computer that was given to be my the library clerk was permanently glued to the startuop screen. So I decided to change computer...... without telling the clerk. Well, it is partially my fault some people can find ways to be flexible.

But not this asshole.
Anyway,
Time passed and some girl was assigned the computer that I am already on.

Seeing that I was there, she approached me and I said while making this face ------> XD

"Ahaha, sorry ya. My comp... bla bla bla.... can u use another comp for a while? Please"

I was being super nice here. The girl smiled and left and used the comp behind me.

Okay problem solved. Both parties happy.

Along came Asshole

You can tell he is retarded by the way he walks
And by the way he speaks
And by the clothes he wears
Basically everything about him emits retardiness (I am not sure if this is a word)

(Yes, it is a he.... a fucking disgrace to my own species)

*(My IE restarted on me this period so I was already more tu lan than I am already am.) *

If it was a female I would have prolly written it off as a girl in her PMS.

Anyway,

He approached me and said," This is my comp"

I said," FUCK YOU ASSHOLE <----thought I regreted not saying this. Can u use another comp? (Mind you there are 30 free computers and only one damaged (mine))

He said, " I will use your comp..." and sat down at my original place

I said," Dude, that com is stuck at the start up screen"

He said, " Oh, in that case I want my comp back (This i am guessing cuz he is speaking so softly like he had just commited some type of crime) ". The return for being nice.....

I looked at him, staring blankly giving him the " Dude, there are 30 plus computers here, just fucking choose one"

He placed his stuff on my desk. Before I CAN EVEN SAY "YEA SURE,"

I was like "KNN CCB. MCB. CB. CLC, asshole......"

At that moment, I felt like doing this.

Not wanting to argue so I left. But right now I am blogging behind him. AND THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE IS NOT EVEN SURFING THE NET!!!!!! I DOUBT HE EVEN KNOWS HOW AN INTERNET WORKS.

Ahahahahahahaha

I hope his dick rots.

No, I hope his dick get so badly infected that it is swollen with pus and have maggots feeding on its dead flesh.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA.

I am.....

My blog is dead.....

Taking futile attempts to revive it only to fall out of updating then the blog is dead again


Well at least this blog has seen great revivals in the past....

Haha.

Now, what I should blog about?

Here's a brainstorming session I came up with.

1.Should I rant about how sucky Shah Alam can be?
Nah..... done that in every one of my posts.

2.Blogging about the anime I watched?
Been there..... done that.

3. Blog about how sucky my life is now?
Very tempting but whose isn't? Don't think so

4.Blog about politics?
Don't want to be arrested by ISA.

5. Blog about friends?
They are not worth bloggin about HAahah, sorry, that was a sick and cruel joke on my part and dont get too sensitive bout it.

6. Blog about my exam results?
It would be too cruel on me.

7. Blog about the funny things that happen to me during this weekend?
None. My life has been filled with despair and sadness.

8. Blog about sad things that happen then?
Don't want to. Don't want to risk switching my emo side on.

9. Okay, this is getting difficult. Blog about Chinese New Year?
Well, Kuching has been hit by the worst flood in 40years and some of my friends were affected by it so no. Dun feel like blogging bout the festives.

10. Fine, I run out of blogging options.

Hey, wait. i just blogged bout something. Hooray.

XD enjoy guys.